My Kind of Joke

So a man walks into a fancy restaurant and he's stopped by the waiter at the front desk.  He's told he needs a tie to come in. So he goes to his car to look for a tie. He has no tie, so he grabs his jumper cables and ties it on like a tie.  He walks in and says "How is this?" The waiter at the desk says "Okay, just don't start anything!"

     We had a Speech and Recitation Night with are homeschool group and this is what I did for a speech. It was called "All About Jokes"

So here are some jokes...

Story Joke

Miles and I went camping.  We pitched our tent under the stars and went to sleep.  Some time in the middle of the night I woke up and said, "Miles, look up at the stars and tell me what you see." Miles replied, "I see millions and millions of stars." I say "and what do you think of that?" Miles says "I think the big dipper is right there and there is Orion."  I said, "Miles! That means someone stole our tent!"

A joke is never to be taken seriously.  Also when you say a joke go straight to the punch line. Not like this:  The chicken crossed the paved rode and a blue Ford truck almost ran him over him just to get on the other side of the road...

Regular Jokes 

The world tongue-twister champion just got a arrested.  I hear they are going to give him a really hard sentence.
LOL

If you have 10 apples in one hand and 14 oranges in the other hand, what do you have?
Answer: Really, really big hands! 

What kind of coat is always wet when you put it on?
Answer: A coat of paint!

Why do ducks fly south?
Answer: Because it is to far to walk!

Why was the farmer on the other side of the road?
Answer: He was getting all the chickens!

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock-Knock
Who's there?
Broken pencil
Broken pencil who?
Never mind, it's pointless!

Knock-Knock
Who's there?
Justin
Justin who?
Justin time for dinner!

Brain Teaser

• Think of a number 
• Now Double it 
• Add 10
• Half it 
• Take away the number you started with 
• Your number is 5

Example: 1,834,592 Big number 

Double it = 3,669,184

Add 10 = 3,669,194

Half it = 1,834,592 

Take the number you started with = 5

...Like always

Oh and by the way, Lily (my sister) will be doing an interview with me to promote my blog.  

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By: Justin